Vayera
Parshat Vayera begins with three angels visiting Abraham, to tell him and Sarah that they will have a son. God tells Abraham of his plans to destroy Sedom, and Abraham attempts to prevent the destruction, but without success. Sarah gives birth to Isaac, but Hagar and Ishmael are forced to leave Abraham's home. The parsha concludes with the story of God commanding Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.
Vayera - Jeremy Rosen
Jeremy Rosen received his rabbinic ordination from Mir Yeshiva in Jerusalem. He studied philosophy at Cambridge University, and also holds a PhD in philosophy. He has worked in the rabbinate and Jewish education for more than forty years, in Europe and the US.
The sedra of Vayera includes two iconic examples of hospitality; two examples that show how to, and how not to, be a good host.
In Chapter 18 God appears to Avraham as he sits at the opening to his tent. Avraham looks up and he sees what appear to be three men. He runs to meet them and in verse 3 he says 'My Lord, please do not go away from your servant. Let me get some water and wash your feet and rest under the tree.'
The simple meaning is that God appears to Avraham in the shape of three men whom he sees and invites them in. When he says 'My Lord, please do not go away' he is addressing the leader and indeed this is Rashi's first explanation. But he could equally be addressing each one of them individually. Only later when they start revealing things about the future does it transpire that they are messengers from another world.
But when dealing with the issue of who Avraham is addressing when he says 'My Lord, please do not go away from your servant', Rashi, quoting the Midrash, gives a second possible explanation that puts a very different spin on this narrative. The sequence of the passage goes like this. 'God appears to Avraham at the grove Mamre.' It sounds as though they are engaging or communicating spiritually. Then in the middle of this process, Avraham looks up and sees three men. It seems natural to him to put his personal spiritual experiences on hold while he attends to the needs of human beings. This after all is the traditional halachic position. The needs of humans take priority over the voluntary spiritual demands of God. So he turns to God and says 'My Lord, please do not go away.' And then he turns to the three men and says 'let me get some water...'.
The lesson is that however primary God is, there are certain types of human crises or obligations that are so important that one can actually tell God to wait. In the end religion must enhance our relationship with other humans.
When in Chapter 19, Lot, having learnt the importance of hospitality from Avraham but now alienated from his moderating influence, offers hospitality contrary to the selfish values of Sodom, he has to protect his three visitors from the local thugs. He offers his own two daughters to the mob to instead. This surely is hospitality gone mad. The idea has become so formalized that Lot cannot sense the tragedy of disregarding the feelings of his own children. He has allowed a rigid interpretation of a religious demand to cloud his sense of humanity.
This world we are in is predominantly a human one. Of course if we do not have a spiritual base to our lives to begin with we might be inclined to a more selfish outlook. But in the end being a good human to other humans is what God really wants of us.
Another Voice - Abigail Wood
Parshat Vayera begins with the mysterious visit of three strangers to Abraham and Sarah's tent. From this story, we learn about the Jewish tradition of hachnasat orchim - welcoming guests. The Chofetz Chaim (Rabbi Yisrael Meir Hacohen Kagan, 1838-1933) comments: "The Torah explains at great length about the matter of how Abraham welcomed his guests, with all the details... we learn from this that the Torah intends to teach us to learn from the example of Abraham our forefather." (Ahavat Chessed, part 3, chapter 2)
Some of the Chofetz Chaim's advice on welcoming guests includes:
When Abraham saw the strangers, he ran to greet them, and bowed down to them, and spoke softly to them - perhaps he could bring them into his house. ... We learn from this that we should seek out guests, and welcome them with great warmth, as if a great, rich person had come before us, from whom we could gain much.
Abraham understood that they did not intend to stay long and to be a burden to him, so he said 'Let me fetch a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves, then go on' (18:5). In the end, he made a feast in their honour, in the manner of one of those tzaddikim - righteous people - who says little and does much.
When guests come to someone's house, he should welcome them with a happy face, and should immediately give them something to eat - because perhaps the guest is poor, and is embarrassed to ask. He should welcome the guest with a glad countenance - not an angry face - and if he has worries, he should not show these on his face. He should appear to his guests as somebody wealthy - even if he is poor - and speak in a comforting way, because this will help the guests to relax.
The host should cut the bread into slices front of the guest, so that his guest will not be embarrassed or ashamed to help himself. And even more so, he should not look into his guest's face while he is eating, so as not to make him feel self-conscious.
Modern sources - Jewish and non-Jewish - continue to offer advice on welcoming guests. Some contemporary tips include:
Make sure that your guest's room is clutter free and has some privacy. "If you've read a wonderful novel, share it with your guest. Five-minute mysteries, travel books, an assortment of magazines, classic novels, or the local paper will provide quiet-time activities for your guest." (About.com)
Make extra pillows and blankets available so that your guest doesn't have to ask for them. A reading lamp, a hairdryer, clothes hangers, an alarm clock, a bathrobe and slippers can all help make your guest's stay more comfortable. Arrange the space in the guest room to include a chair, some storage space and a desk area for your guest to use, particularly if they will be staying for a long time.