Vayishlach

Vayishlach – Johnny Solomon

Johnny Solomon is a Major scholar at the Judith Lady Montefiore College and the Assistant Head at the Naima Jewish Preparatory School

When Yaakov lifted his eyes and saw that the long awaited encounter with his twin Esav also included an army of four hundred men, he began to prepare for the inevitable, dividing his family into separate groups and then taking the front line to bear the brunt of the attack. However, to the surprise of Yaakov, Esav ran towards him and embraced him. Yaakov & Esav had shared a womb for 9 months, but they had not seen one another for 34 years. As such, they began to look at each other afresh.

Esav then looked around and saw women and children He enquired as to their identity, and it was in response to this query that each group presented themselves.

First to meet Esav were the maids. They, with their children, approached 'Uncle Esav', and bowed down. Next, Leah and her children approached Esav. However, based on a close reading of the verse, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch (1808-1888) explains that only the children bowed. This is because "Leah was the noble, proud, self-conscious wife, the real mother and keeper of the household". As such, "a Leah does not bow down before an Esav." (commentary to Bereishit 33:6-7)

Earlier, Yaakov had gone ahead to protect his wives and children; but in the end, it was Yosef - the youngest of them all - who stepped up to protect his mother. This inevitable moment in a parent's life when their child becomes their principal carer can be very difficult to swallow, and this moment had come early for Rachel. But instead of Yosef's step forward being an act of chutzpah, it was understood by Rachel as a profound act of gallantry. For some parents this moment would have been demeaning. But for Rachel, it gave her tremendous 'nachas' (pride) and as such, highlighted the potential for leadership in her son Yosef. But not all stories have a happy ending.

The story of Chanah and her seven sons (found in the Book of Maccabees and elaborated on in other Rabbinic writings) describes the Mesirat Nefesh (self sacrifice) of seven boys, each of whom stood ahead of their mother and gave up their life through sanctifying the name of God. Each son became a knight in the battle against idolatry. However, although they won spiritually, they lost physically. Unlike Yosef, these boys did not choose their role. But like Yosef, they took pride in standing up for what was right, no matter the risk. Chanah had 'nachas' for what her sons had done, but tragically, she no longer had her sons.

Standing over the seven bodies that lay on the ground, Chanah could not continue to live. Those words we have all had the misfortune to hear at a funeral - 'parents should go before their children' - must have been like a mantra in the mind of Chanah. Soon after, Chanah died. Some say she died of a broken heart, whereas others suggest that she ended her life.

However much effort parents invest to protect their children, at times children will go before their parents. Sometimes this will lead to them becoming someone great; other times it will lead to them going somewhere great. But when these moments do occur, we are reminded of the 'nachas' our children bring us, and how we need them just as much as they need us.